Are abrasive leaders just difficult people who need to be identified and removed from the workplace, or can they be persuaded to change their behaviour?
Do they even understand what their behaviour is like and the harm that this causes to others?
If you’ve listened to previous episodes of the podcast, you’ll already have heard other guests talking about the value of Dr Laura Crawshaw's innovative approach to tackling abrasive leadership and the harm this destructive behaviour causes.
What you do when someone comes to you and reports abrasive behaviour that's causing a problem matters, because the standard you walk past is the standard you set.
Failing to tackle incivility, bullying or harassment gives permission for a toxic culture to emerge (or persist), so you need to take action.
But what kind of action? Do you hand it over to HR and let the 'people people' manage the problem through a disciplinary approach, couched in legal language and risk-avoidance? Perhaps you just suppress the problem altogether and silence the complainant to make the problem go away?
Or could it be that there are less destructive ways to tackle abrasive leadership behaviour?
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Are current approaches working well in practice?
Perhaps the most significant paradigm shift from this episode is re-framing our current terminology for workplace incivility, bullying or harassment as a single, all-encompassing problem - that of abrasive behaviour.
Laura has provided several thought-provoking questions for us to ask ourselves, based on her experience of dealing with leaders who exhibit abrasive behaviour:
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How well is the current approach of legislating against discrimination, bullying and harassment actually working?
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If action is taken in those cases, how well do current approaches resolve the underlying behavioural problems?
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Are current approaches a proportionate way to change people's behaviour?
If we think about answering those questions, it becomes clear to see that Laura's argument that a more effective, preventive method that focuses on changing the behaviour of abrasive leaders has merit.
Not everyone who exhibits abrasive behaviour is a narcissistic psychopath
Laura's experience highlights that in around 82% of cases using her method of leadership coaching, the person carrying out abrasive behaviour was successful in turning the situation around.
They were often unaware of the impact they were having on others, welcoming the opportunity to undertake specialised coaching as a chance to reflect on how their behaviour was affecting others - and their own success.
Laura talks at length in this episode about how much abrasive behaviour encountered is more due to a lack of awareness and emotional intelligence, than a deliberate intention to cause harm.
This holds out the hope that people who are genuinely willing to embrace change, can change – if they are supported in doing so.
Laura has carefully defined what is meant by an abrasive leader :
"An abrasive leader is any individual charged with managerial authority, whose interpersonal behaviour causes emotional distress in co-workers, sufficient to disrupt organisational functioning"
Manage conduct as you would performance
Laura argues that employers should consider taking a similar approach to managing interpersonal conduct as they do for managing performance.
If an organisation has a fair, unbiased way of measuring and managing performance*, then Laura asserts that managing conduct and behaviour is little different.
(* As an aside, that can be a big 'if' and is the source of much mistrust that many employees say they have in Human Resources)
Where performance is not meeting acceptable standards, an organisation that values its employees will help provide development, training and support for people to improve.
Laura's point is that the same principle should apply to conduct, and that intervening on unacceptable conduct helps people to change and improve.
Managers have a duty to intervene and help someone whose behaviour is causing any form of friction (let alone harm) to develop and change, before it becomes a more significant problem.
"Intervention is not punitive – it's compassionate"
Laura makes the observation that a leader who fails to intervene and help someone exhibiting abrasive behaviour is failing in their responsibility as a leader.
It's not compassionate (for either the person exhibiting poor behaviour, or those on the receiving end of their unacceptable conduct) to let someone fail by behaving badly, and simply wait until it escalates into formal complaints.
That is neglectful – rather than competent – management.
Lessons to learn from Dr Laura Crawshaw
Taking a wider view of unacceptable conduct as an indicator of 'abrasive behaviour' allows organisations to address this contributor to a toxic culture at an early opportunity - before matters escalate into formal complaints.
Working with abrasive leaders provides them with development opportunities (through specialised coaching interventions) to change and address their abrasive conduct before it escalates.
People are more likely to accept the need to change if they're supported, as opposed to being threatened.
That's good for the organisation, good for the abrasive leader and can prevent their behaviour getting out of hand.
Of course, opportunities come with responsibilities and Laura explains how any supportive intervention requires the back-up of consequences, if conduct does not improve.
In particular, preventing retaliation against people who've had the courage to stand up and come forward is critical, and any slide into bullying, victimisation or mobbing behaviour demonstrates a lack of commitment to change.
In those cases, consequences have to follow. This provides some reassurance to people affected that this approach is not an "easy way out" for an abrasive leader to avoid accountability. Through Laura's coaching process, people affected form a part of the process.
Rather than taking a confrontational, disciplinary approach, managing abrasive leadership with supportive interventions fulfils the common-sense requirement for stopping the behaviour, changing the behaviour, and ensuring those responsible for creating toxicity take accountability for their own improvement.
If (as Laura's empirical data show) that solves 82% of the abrasive leadership problems, then tackling the 18% of abrasive leaders who don't intend to change can be addressed by other - more formal - means.
Chapter markers
| Time code | Content |
|---|---|
| 00:00 | Introduction |
| 02:13 | Laura’s early experience of abrasive leadership |
| 05:22 | Myths and behaviour of abrasive leaders |
| 11:08 | Teminology – what is abrasive behaviour? |
| 13:49 | Why legislation won’t stop abrasive behaviour |
| 18:27 | How can people managers identify abrasive behaviour early? |
| 22:04 | Is abrasive behaviour an HR problem? |
| 24:47 | Objections raised when abrasive leaders are challenged |
| 27:53 | Tackling abrasive leaders is a preventive action |
| 30:20 | Intervention is supportive, not punitive |
| 33:34 | The steps of coaching an abrasive leader |
| 38:00 | Preventing retaliation by abrasive leaders |
| 41:09 | Contacting Dr Laura Crawshaw |
| 42:38 | Lessons to learn about managing abrasive leaders |
References
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Crawshaw, L, (2005), Coaching Abrasive Executives: Exploring the Use of Empathy in Constructing Less Destructive Interpersonal Management Strategies, Doctoral dissertation : Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara
Links
- Follow Dr Laura Crawshaw on LinkedIn
- Visit the Boss Whispering Institute's website
- Buy Dr Laura Crawshaw’s latest book on Amazon, “Grow your spine and manage abrasive leadership behavior”